It's the doorbell - Hide!

My doorbell rang today. In the glamorized world of TV it might've been a Domino's pizza, but in the real world my first reaction was "Hide!"

It seems that if my doorbell rings unexpectedly it's either somebody wanting money, wanting to sell me something, or wanting to talk about God.

I can't recall the last unexpected guest that was actually welcome. If it's anybody that I really want to talk to I know they're coming.


Doorbell ring emergency checklist.
- If the TV is on - mute it quickly along with any other noise producing devices.
- stand clear of any windows in case they look in.
- if you have squeeky floors stay perfectly still.
- preemptively, try to keep your garage door closed. If it's open they'll know you're likely home and are ignoring them.
- As a last resort - if they know you're there, can see through your door and won't go away. Keep a pair of headphones handy, throw them on, and jump around in view like you're jamming to Rick Springfield's "Jesse's Girl" while you vacuum the carpets. Throw in alot of air guitar. Start singing at the top of your lungs. That should work.