Cancelling Home phone service

Well, a short while ago I got off the phone with my home phone provider (the big American telephone company), and found the experience both humorous and frustrating.

First off: All I was wanting to do was cancel my home phone service.

I spoke to no fewer than 4 people over the course of about a 20 minute call to accomplish this task. (23 minutes if you count me dialing customer service twice because I mis-input my phone number into the robot that answered the phone the first time and this put me on hold so I redialed). I'm aware of the times because I made the call at the beginning of riding my exercise bike and I was into the 24th minute of the ride when the call was finally completed.

While waiting on hold between all of my transfers I found out repeatedly from the automated attendant that it would be very simple to pay my phone bill if I went to att.com/pay, but unfortunately I had to wait on hold and be transferred around for the privilege of not paying.

So at the beginning of the call the automated attendant asks me to input the phone number on my phone bill. I do so. I'm not sure why they wanted that, because I think each of the four people that finally talked to me asked me for both my name and all that information again, 3 of whom would only transfer me to someone else who would ask me the same information again.

I may be getting the order of conversation wrong and have generalized and embellished, but it went something like this:

1st customer service rep: After waiting on hold for a long time - maybe about 8 minutes listening to how I could conveniently pay my bill online at att.com/pay - the first customer service rep picked up. I told them I wanted to cancel my home phone line. No problem, they said - let me transfer you to the people that do that. They'll be right with you.

2nd customer service rep: This rep again asked who I was and asked for my name and phone. I said I just put it into the system, it should be on your screen. He may have asked for the last digits of my social to just to make sure I hadn't changed who I was sense I talked to the last person.

After confirming my name, phone, and that I was someone who knew the last four digits of my social security number - they also confirmed that what I indeed had told the first rep was true - that I wanted to cancel my home phone.

I think they wanted to try to give me some secret deal that nobody else ever gets unless you win the lotto, but I told them I already had my new line and wanted to cut my bills. I'd already looked online on the att.com website to try and find a way to keep my home phone at a lower cost, but all their plans were way too costly compared to alternatives. Anyhow, they said, OK, let me transfer you to someone who'll take care of your cancellation for you. It'll be just a minute. I'm like why can't you do this, but I'm like whatever, let's just get this over with.

I wait on hold for a while longer listening to more exciting advertising and information on how to pay my bill online. I'm a pretty good way into my bike ride now, getting kindof sweaty, and have flipped the TV and ESPN to listen to Skip Bayless and others talk about Chad Johnson's problems and Rex Ryan/Tim Tebow.

3rd customer service rep: This rep again starts by asking my name and phone number, and surprisingly asks what I'm calling about. I'm beginning to think the reps at this company don't talk to one another or know who they transferring me to or why. Surprise, I'm trying to cancel my home phone. This rep is very friendly and in the nicest voice possible says, OK, let me transfer you to someone who will take care of that for you. I kind of laugh and ask if they were sure.

At this point I'm increasingly glad they're monitoring this call for quality control, because I'm having difficulty imagining how much better customer service quality might be if they weren't paying attention to it.

4th customer service rep: When I got to the 4th person he again asked for my name, phone number and again confirmed the last digits of my social. He also wondered what I was calling about. I told him I heard mythological tales of one who could process the cancellation of my home phone - and that I was on a quest to find the one who could fulfill my wishes. I also made him promise that he was the last person I had to talk to. Luckily I'd found the elusive person in the company with the great power to fulfill my request. He really was a nice guy - I just wish I didn't have to spend 20 minutes to do something simple like tell them to stop sending me bills.

Yeah, all done with that. According to my exercise bike's readout I'd burned nearly 180 calories while cancelling my phone, so it wasn't all bad.

Jack Handey

Sometimes I wish I had fingers on my toes so I could pick up ice cubes more easily when I drop them in the kitchen floor. How convenient. But then I wondered if I had fingers on my toes would I instead walk on my arms and view the world upside down? And when I was on the internet would that mean I'd have to type with my keyboard on the floor?

"Constitutional" Amendment

I went to vote today and we had what I considered a strange amendment on the ballot. The amendment passed and put the right to hunt and fish into the state constitution. Not that I have anything against hunting and fishing, subject to reasonable restrictions (ie no hunting on main street in rush hour). But really? Do you put this in the constitution?

At the next election I would like to offer my own "constitutional" amendment guaranteeing all citizens the right to take a dump and a leak - of course subject to local sanitary and decency laws. You know, just so that it's understood. I want free and ungoverned bowel and bladder movements - well not _too_ free, but free within reasonable bodily control. And I want the right to flush included in that amendment.

:-)

BELL’S LAW OF TELEPHONY

I saw this article by Douglas Coupland and laughed:

"BELL’S LAW OF TELEPHONY No matter what technology is used, your monthly phone bill magically remains about the same size."

How true.

You think I'd fit in one of these?

The hamsters are kinda phat. I love this commercial for Kia Soul. Doo - Dah - Dippety!

Eyjafjallajokull

Yep. Eyjafjallajokull. Say it with me. Now 5 times fast.

It's the name of the volcano that's erupting in Iceland that's shutting down air traffic all over Europe due to the ash it's spewing up.

Just though it was probably the most fun word I've seen all year.

Eyjafjallajokull

There I said it. I haven't heard newscasters try to say it yet. Here is apparently the correct pronunciation from wikipedia.

Here's the wikipedia link.

Steven Wright

A few Steven Wright jokes from here:

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me--and I didn't hear it.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...

95%

95% of the time that I go to get ice from the freezer to put in my orange cup, I drop 1 or more pieces of ice in the floor. I have come to believe there is no better slippery design for ice "cubes" than those produced by the automatic ice maker in my fridge. I'll go to grab some ice from the bucket, and even when I think I have a good hold one will slide out, hit the floor, slide across the kitchen floor, and hide somewhere that I can't find it... It's a fun game I play every day.

Demotivators

These are good for a funny read if you have a while:

Some of my favorites

Mediocrity

Problems

Losing

Priorities

Retiring my old clock radio

My Grandmother, "Mom Mim," got me this clock radio back when I was in about the third grade. If I'm not mistaken it was a birthday gift. Note the faux wood that was all the rage back then. It was packed with features like a digital clock with green numbers, an AM/FM radio, as well as an alarm (with snooze!) that I could switch to either wake me with the radio playing or just have it buzz at me. It's probably @1980 model clock if I had to guess



It's been a good clock for me, but it's now time to retire it. The radio on/off long ago broke long ago (although I could listen to the radio using the snooze button), and alot of the buttons were sticky, but the alarm switch was still functional so I've used it up to now - probably for nearly 30 years - as I'm almost 40 yrs old. Lately the alarm switch has started slipping too and won't stay on, so I'm going to have to retire it.

It's strange the thoughts you attach to something old that spans different parts of your life, and it's really kindof sad to decommission the old clock. My youngest memories of the clock are of twisting the radio dial and listening to all the different radio channels out there. When I was young I remember finding the oldies channel in Louisville and listening to all the old rock-n-roll songs I'd never heard. That was back in the day when the announcer would introduce the songs, or break in at the end of the song to tell you who the artist was. Near the clock I kept a notebook paper list of my favorite oldies songs as I learned them. Songs like Don McLean's "American Pie", Otis Reddings "Sitting by the Dock of the Bay", The Turtles "Happy Together", Tommy Roe "Dizzy", or The McCoy's "Hang on Sloopy." The list gradually grew very long and I remember trying to rank the songs every once in a while. The Beach Boys' "Good Vibrations" always ended near the top of my list.

Looking at the clock also makes me think of waking up very early for certain trips, like getting up early to go on my first "caving" trip one weekend with teachers and friends at elementary school, or getting up early to go on my first fishing trip that used a boat at Lake Cumberland.

In college it kept me on schedule I guess, although I gotta admit I almost never made it to that 8:00 chemistry class. I could blame my roomate Kyle, but we were just too lazy for our own good. Luckily the bookstore had good study guides and we made it through fine, but as a lesson to all youngsters out there: Never schedule an 8:00 college class - you won't make it. The 7:30 labs on Friday were mandatory or we probably wouldn't have made it to those either.

As I've grown older the clock has always been there glowing dimly by my head almost every night. I'd gotten so good at turning the alarm off that I could almost do it without waking up. Maybe that's why I usually tend to be a little late for work.

But mainly I think I like the old clock because it was a gift from my grandmother. I was a little fella when she got it for me, but in a way it represents the support and expectations that helped me get from there to here over the course of 30-odd years.

My wife got me a new alarm clock today. Makes me wonder what new thoughts I'll attach to it. What stories it will preside over. And I wonder whether it'll outlast me.

Star Wars Capitalists

The Empire rings the opening bell on wall street.

The Plan

Since every worthwhile endeavor needs a plan, and since I never have a plan, I figured I'd outline a plan for this year's vacation.

Day 1 "Sunday" was a huge success. Day 1's plan centered around
- getting to the beach
- eating a bunch of shrimp
- putting spanish moss on my head at some point
- drinking a half a box of mountain berry juice
- eating fresh pineapple
- watching "Up"

Here are some of the highlights:








Day 2's plan was considerably more ambitious than the first.
- It starts with a short walk (I'm a short walker, my wife is more of a walker)
- drink some chocolate milk (chocolate milk is a must)
- watch the dolphins
- work on a song or two
- waste time blogging
- waste time on facebook
- sit on the deck
- probably take a nap

Here are some highlights of the day so far:


You might not be able to see the dolphin in this photo but trust me, they're out there... If you look very closely you can probably see them.



If you're having trouble seeing the dolphins I digitally enhanced the photo with the most modern technology to bring out all the details possible. It's still a little blurry, but you can probably see the dolphin in the enhanced photo.



thanks to here for the cool pic

cartoon

Alright, I admit this isn't much of a post, but I I did a double-take when I saw this witty cartoon.

Nacho Libre

Ok, I'm a fan of oddball movies, but would've never guessed that I would like this movie as much as I do. It was on TBS several times over the weekend and I watched it twice. It's a definite "must see" in my book - a great re-watch, with lots of good quotes. The story is just a simple one of a simple man wanting more out of life, but just needs someone to believe in him. But it's executed well.

One of my favorite quotes (read with heavy sarcasm).
Nacho is a monk in the monastery talking to the kids in the orphanage who are wrestling (from imdb quotes):

Nacho: Ok. Orphans! Listen to Ignacio. I know it is fun to wrestle. A nice piledrive to the face... or a punch to the face... but you cannot do it. Because, it is in the Bible not to wrestle your neighbour.
Chancho: So you've never wrestled?
Nacho: Me? No. Come on. Don't be crazy. I know the wrestlers get all the fancy ladies, and the clothes, and the fancy creams and lotions. But my life is good! Really good! I get to wake up every morning, at 5AM, and make some soup! It's the best. I love it. I get to lay in a bed, all by myself, all of my life! That's fantastic! Go. Go away! Read some books!

Here's a trailer

The year in movies - 2008

I'm not a big movie goer, but 2008 may have a set a theatre viewing record for me - 4 movies! I'm highly selective - so pay attention! This is movie news you can use!

Iron Man. Pretty good super hero movie - especially the first part. The end gets a bit crazy, but character development in this is better than you often get in these type films. It won't make you think, but it has it's moments.

Wall-E. This is a movie I actually wanted to go see based solely on the trailers. The movie is way-good. One of the better I've ever seen. Here's a post from earlier in the year.

Juno. I saw this movie this year, and I think I saw it in a theatre, so I'm counting it. A really good film. Off-balance but memorable for the quirky characters and qualities they have.

Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian. I really didn't know what was going on, but my wife wanted to go see this. Don't be surprised if you don't understand why everybody's fighting. (My theory: they needed an excuse for action scenes). I remember watching the cartoon version of The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe when I was little and this is a sequel set many years later. It just didn't make any sense to me. My suggestion: watch a rerun of something else on cable instead.

Not seen in the theatre, but one more I'd like to see: I've asked my wife to request Tropic Thunder from Netflix. Seems hard to go wrong with Ben Stiller, Robert Downey Jr, and Jack Black.

So there you have it. That's pretty much all you need to know about movies over the past 12 months. Not much else worth mentioning from what I can tell.

And you thought you were having a bad day

It just goes from bad to worse.

article is courtesy a south Mississippian I work with.

Star Wars

This video has been watched over 8.2 million times on YouTube. It's a 3 year old's movie review of Star Wars.

Sold PRXI

As part of my efforts to lose as much money in the market as quickly as possible I posted another stunning success with my recent purchase of PRXI - Premier exhibitions. In less than 2 months I successfully lost just over 24% in this holding. To lock in my losses I made my sell today.

Who said markets were efficient? This academic exercise being tested in my portfolio is living proof of market inefficiency. Everything I buy is able to go down in value.

Happy investing to all. Next time I want to buy a stock I'm going to punch myself in the gut to remind myself of what I'm getting myself into. :-)

Bumper Sticker

This is good. Stuff White People Like. Bumper Stickers
Here's a snippet:

It is a fact that white people will never turn down an opportunity to enlighten other people on the correct way to think. While this is very easy to do through email or face to face conversation, it is exceptionally difficult to do while driving a car. Fortunately for white people there is a solution that is both popular and ineffective: bumper stickers.

Read the whole thing. Great observations

Tired of losing money

Anybody else out there tired of losing money in the market? Seems like every time I get my hopes up that the market has bottomed out - down it goes again.

My new investing strategy is on the verge of becoming: buying a big tank, filling it up with gasoline, and just letting it sit for a year, like a collectible. Some people collect baseball cards or shot glasses - I'll collect "vintage" gasoline. Unfortunately I removed the swimming pool several years ago so I can't store the gas there. And that just sounds like a freak gasoline accident waiting to happen... cannonball anyone? Next year I might be swimming in a 50% profit.

And speaking of freak gasoline accidents... Any Zoolander fans?