Steven Wright

A few Steven Wright jokes from here:

I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me--and I didn't hear it.

Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.

Ever notice how irons have a setting for *permanent* press? I don't get it...

There was a power outage at a department store yesterday. Twenty people were trapped on the escalators.

Every so often, I like to stick my head out the window, look up, and smile for a satellite picture.

I'm moving to Mars next week, so if you have any boxes...